Synchronising with the hiring pipeline
Reviewing your file in 0.003 seconds…
Synchronising with the hiring pipeline
Reviewing your file in 0.003 seconds…
Apply for jobs that should not exist. Survive interviews designed to contradict themselves. Find out exactly how much self-respect you are willing to exchange for exposure.
It’s a game. Unfortunately, it’s also a simulation.
12
Open roles
4
Employers
0
Actually reasonable
UNHIREABLE / Candidate file
REF: UH-84K2Q1
Current status
Promising, unfortunately.
What the algorithm sees
CONFIDENCE 0.62
“We’re looking for someone who can do everything, for less, with more enthusiasm.”
Selected opportunities
Each application is generated from scratch. Different interviews. Different contradictions. The same fundamental misunderstanding of what a job is.
12 roles match. All are a stretch.
Salaries in fictional compensation units (FCU)
Synergon Systems
Leadership (Entry Level)
An entry-level executive opportunity for someone already done with being junior.
Advertised
185k–220k FCU
Synergon Systems
Operational Excellence
Help our people achieve the ultimate work-life integration: work, all the time.
Advertised
158k–198k FCU
OmniPulse AI
Human Resources (Transitional)
Supervise the AI that is replacing you. Training provided during your notice period.
Advertised
149k–205k FCU
OmniPulse AI
Office of the Founder
A once-in-a-lifetime entry-level opportunity to be accountable for everything.
Advertised
210k–260k FCU
BrightForce Dynamics
Workplace Presence
Join our fully remote team. Attendance at the office is mandatory.
Advertised
76k–98k FCU
BrightForce Dynamics
Talent Pipeline
The experience is priceless. The compensation has been priced accordingly.
Advertised
Unpaid (exposure)
Grimsby & Vale
Office of the Future
A junior-level visionary role for someone with 20 years of experience and no ego.
Advertised
230k–265k FCU
Synergon Systems
Human Flourishing (Compliance)
Bring your authentic self. Leave your boundaries at the door. Smile for the camera.
Advertised
132k–176k FCU
OmniPulse AI
People & Prompts
Keep our AI happy. Keep our humans productive. Never confuse the two.
Advertised
97k–130k FCU
BrightForce Dynamics
Risk & Vibes
Prevent failure. Do not prevent failure from happening. Do not prevent failure prevention.
Advertised
174k–215k FCU
Grimsby & Vale
Engagement & Surveillance
Stop employees from doing exactly what they are paid to do, but with less enthusiasm.
Advertised
166k–204k FCU
Grimsby & Vale
Century Office
Disrupt 117 years of tradition without changing a single thing that works, or any thing at all.
Advertised
141k–172k FCU
The process
Every run is procedurally assembled. You won’t know how many interviews are left. Neither will the interviewer. The difference is that they are not personally invested.
Six-figure salary, entry-level title, executive accountability. Browse the market and pick your contradiction.
A seed generates one to seven rounds. You’ll meet HR, AI, executives, and a form that has been final since Tuesday. Puzzles are real. Failure has consequences. Sometimes the consequences are another interview.
Rejected, hired at the fictional minimum, or — if you keep enough receipts — the only ending the company cannot control. Share the result. Regret it professionally.
Systems included
Not a quiz. Not a visual novel with extra steps. Six interactive systems, all with real solutions and consequences.
Satisfy a form that requires you to be employed, immediately available, and on garden leave at the same time.
Pleasure the parser without alienating the human. Fixing one score quietly breaks the other.
Reach the guaranteed number without exceeding the optics budget. The appendix nobody reads is the answer.
Flag every claim that cannot be true at once. The AI is timing you. The AI has already decided why.
Assemble a ten-year career with no gaps, no overlaps, and experience in a technology that is three years old.
Deduce the company’s actual values from leaked fragments. Select three statements. Betray nothing.
Candidate feedback / anonymized
“I completed seven interviews, three assignments, and a personality assessment. They hired the CEO’s nephew and sent me a coupon.”
The Candidate Report Card
Every application ends with a shareable report: interviews survived, unpaid labour performed, self-respect remaining, and a quote from the rejection email. Download it, post it, frame it, bring it to your next interview.
Start an applicationFree vs. premium
Complete two full applications at no cost. Additional runs are a one-time purchase of $2.99 when checkout is connected. No subscription. No ads. No gambling. No prize. The prize is the process.
This MVP does not process payments. Premium access is modelled but checkout is not connected.
One-time access
$2.99
Not a subscription. Still a commitment.